A Game Of Crohn's

So...as a ton of you know, I’m having my second surgery on December 15. I’m terrified. Normally, surgery doesn’t scare me. It used to, but I’ve had *so* many since 2009 as well as colonoscopies (which you’re essentially asleep for) that I’m accustomed to the process. Honestly? I can’t even *tell* you how many of each I’ve had at this exact moment, without serious thinking about it. Brain damage, what can I say? I’m not actually scared of the process - that’s not unknown territory - but I’m scared that the procedure will *fail*. I’m still having issues that have been going on fairly steadily since June of 2015...WARNING: GROSS ADMISSION AHEAD…… Don't say I didn't warn you... Still with me? Ok. The seton (rubberband) is in place to keep the wound open, because if there’s still pus being produced, it would just start the whole process over again when they would sew shut the abscess/fistula; the pus would collect, with intense, mind

I should have known when I woke up at 2am and couldn’t get back to sleep that it wasn’t going to be a fun day. I’ve never driven myself to Rochester, although I’ve been there several times. I never would have made it there without GPS, because there is no real straight-shot from my house. Having said that, GPS was an absolute nightmare, because it takes me on the most twisty backwoods-hillbilly route that it can possibly come up with, in the interest of saving two minutes. And it’s foggy. And it’s very hilly (everyone from this area is saying DUHHHHH right now). And the deer are absolutely ridiculous in the throes of the yearly rut. They’re running about, willy-nilly, having a fabulous time (jerks), while I attempt to keep up with my not-running-well -in the-boonies GPS, which is giving me a 30 second heads-up on any and all turns I’m making. I’m going 45mph, pissing off the locals, down the hellishly curving roads of rural Wisconsin and Minnesota, whilst also dodging

This ball started rolling much faster than I anticipated, after a year of nothing. I shouldn’t say nothing , I *was* prepping for the surgery, seeing if I could get my crohn’s under some kind of control with medicine. I have not had good luck with this in the past (6 weeks in a Minnesota hospital with pancreatitis because of a reaction to a medication) and one of the medications that my Rochester GI team wanted me to try was a form of chemotherapy, which I was and am emphatically *not* okay with. Luckily, my Eau Claire GI team agrees with me, and so therefore I’m just on double the dose of Humira (which I’m not thrilled about either, but they could not control my crohn’s *sigh*). The double dose of Humira has been the closest to what I would call remission in years. I’ll save you the symptoms of my recovery. (Actually... as of my appointment on the 17th with my main GI doc, he’s telling me it looks like I may in fact be in remission!) Over 50 shots in my belly. The re