Scared Shitless: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Blog

I've been procrastinating on this blog for a long time, haven't I?

I know that some of you out there have wanted me to put my thoughts to a format much longer than facebook for a while, and I've told you that I would. The perfect storm has finally happened, and I'm moving on the blog. 

And I'm scared shitless. Here's where I'm taking off my metaphorical clothes. 

This is the first page, where I can still hide behind words that aren't so revealing. This is the page where I'm going to tell you what to expect, and warn you that my writing can be very stream-of-consciousness and when I'm high (not just on weed, and if you want to see into my life you'll just have to pay attention, k?) I tend to go off into rants, I don't worry as much about grammar, and there is a solid possibility that I will blog while high, and that will provide some interesting shit. 

I know me. 

Also - if you're in my life, you're going to be mentioned. Unless you're direct blood family (for the most part) I will usually identify you with your initial or a nickname I have for you - if I mention you and you would prefer something a little more...not you, let me know. So...mom, Jen, Kate, (and children) - you will be mentioned by first name. I'm not going to lie, but I'm not out to hurt you, either. Telling my story is what's important to me, not hurting you. If I say something that you don't agree with, please call me, we'll work it out. I'm even willing to publish your rebuttals if you're up to writing one - I realize here, and would like to point out to the rest of my readers - I am not 100% of the story. Please remember that. I'm not trying to sound like the hero, or that I'm the martyr. 

I'm just trying to tell you my side. I've already been in the position to help other people, and I loved the way that felt. To have that sort of connection with another human, and they knew *exactly* how I felt - we walked in the same shoes! it's a feeling that I get high from, and I want more. 

Anyway, I'm going to be pretty unfiltered here. I will swear (sometimes like a sailor), I will talk about crohn's disease (sometimes in detail, this is poop talk), I will talk about my lack of uterus, my two miscarriages, my mental problems (my diagnoses change monthly it seems, but right now I'm bipolar with abnormal symptoms/personality disorder/major depressive with psychotic tendencies, with pages of minor stuff, and most importantly (to me right now) will be my ass piercing (more on that later), and my (hopeful) stem cell research (from my own stem cells).

If you have questions, I will do my best to answer them. Sometimes they may prompt an entire entry. I'm usually an open book, especially considering that - for the moment at least - my readers are people that really care about me. 

I think right now doing a weekly update will be reasonable. I can't put myself in a tighter time schedule than that right now, simply because I am still nervous about it. 

xoxo, and there will be something up next Sunday!